This past 10 days has been a combination of relaxation, new sights, some excess "sorting"... and a challenge for me...deciding if I really want to work ...or NOT.
We went on a 4 day "get-a-way". We took the ferry over to Victoria and went 4 1/2 hours north to Campbell River, where we took a short little 10 minute ferry to Quadra Island. It was a Christmas gift from my Mother for our 25th wedding anniversary. We stayed in a resort called "Tsa-Kwa-Luten-Lodge". A beautiful place, laid back, no cell phone, no tv... just peace and quiet and beauty all around. It was a perfect way to spend our time and a we really enjoyed every moment.
After our trip, we came home and I was thrilled to see I still had ...basically another week off. The way the schedule worked out...I didn't have to rush back to the grind. Woohoo !!!!
Now.....here was the deal.... I had all these days off...what to do?????? So, the "SORTING" began again. This time I did kitchen cupboards, our bedroom closets, the hall closet and almost everything in between. I ended up with another 4 huge boxes for goodwill, plus 4 bags of cloths and blankets. I sent a few things home with the kids...and still have way too much stuff. But.... I am working on it. Soon, I will have only what I need...(Haha..we will see).
The really hard part about this time off...is it has made me realize how much I love the "OLD" life I used to have. The one where I was home, the one where I did what worked for me that particular day... the one where I planned out my week all by myself. I LOVED that life. I enjoy being able to go pick up my grandkids when needed, run them to piano lessons, meet the bus when needed... I love feeling that I can do whatever I want to do...everyday. And.... everything is different now. I am thrilled to work with the girls I work with. They are young, and fun and full of energy. But I am not. My old boss John, ( I miss you John ) ... he understood that. I felt like I belonged...and even thou it was hard some day to go to work , I felt like I was needed...like I belonged. Now...it doesn't feel that way anymore. I feel out of place...not sure where I belong. I don't feel the same energy . I wonder if I am really needed anymore. I know..that sounds silly, but hey, one cannot always control how they feel. I hope it changes, but..... if it doesn't, I can always keep reminding myself that it is only another year.
To top it off, it was a very sad weekend..... I have felt for a long time that our little town is becoming too big. This weekend... I felt like crying. In one weekend...in our little town... we had 2 murders...a guy was beaten critically in a parking lot downtown, and we had 3 people arrested for a "home invasion" !!!!!!!!!
What is happening to our little corner of the world...where once the town shut down at 7 at night...where once you could let your kids play outside and ride their bikes, where we never locked our doors....where life was just simpler. I hate the changes here ... I hate the traffic...the hectic way of life. The fact that everyday I see an "ALMOST" accident... or an "ACTUAL" accident. My own daughter has been a victim on a car accident here in town. I feel so claustrophobic that sometimes I want to just lock my doors and never go anywhere.
But that is not being realistic. That is just a fantasy world. So.... I will buck up...straighten up.... suck it up...whatever it takes, and make it thru the year. And this time next year....woo hoo....Alaska...here I come !!!!!!
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